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Hello! I’m Cornel and I blog about things that inspire me, things I’ve made and Craft Share, the craft group I started in 2009.

You'll find lots of crochet on my blog, as well as my crochet and sewing projects for Ideas Magazine, since September 2011.

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Sunday
Nov152009

discomfort and food

 

Over the last couple of weeks, the following happened …

I made a list of things I appreciated in my life, as well as things I wanted to include in my future. The list is 13 items long and includes aspects of relationships, financial goals and personal aspirations. I was happy to experience some of the items on my list like ‘I am loved and adored by my husband’ and ‘I am the doting mother of 3 (mostly) happy children’, while at the same time looking forward to ‘I am an illustrator’ and ‘I am a designer of apparel, fabrics and interiors’.

One of the items read ‘I am radiantly healthy and gorgeous’. So, when I got on my bathroom scale on Sunday 18 October and weighed in at the same weight as my previously 38-week-pregnant-self of more than 4 years ago, I knew exactly what had to happen – a diet. Being someone who usually takes things to the extreme, it would most definitely be a detox diet, cutting out sugar, wheat, milk, caffeine and alcohol. I could already imagine myself being 11kg lighter, losing 3kg in the first week, 2kg the next and 1kg each the following 6 weeks. Because of my vivid imagination, I’m really good at setting myself (mostly) unattainable goals.

On the Monday morning, after enjoying a fruit smoothie followed by a boiled egg, I phoned a friend and asked her if she would pick up the weight loss supplement that everyone was talking about at her beautician-friend. I transferred the money into her account right away.

On Sunday 25 October: I’d lost 3,4kg, was not sleeping well, had a dry mouth all the time and felt that my heart was beating faster than usual. I couldn’t concentrate long enough for meaningful meditations and had become really irritated with everyone (husband and children included). But I weighed less.

On Sunday 1 November: I’d lost another 1,6kg (5,5kg in total). This was after spending the weekend with friends and their kids at a resort! I had serious willpower, didn’t ‘cheat’ once, but lost my sense of humor completely, becoming ‘rattier’ every day, fighting with my husband and kids, convinced that I was right and they were wrong. Not to mention sleep deprivation, an even drier mouth and a literal heaviness on my heart. I felt like concentrating on my breathing to prevent taking only shallow breaths. The weight loss should have been cause for celebration, instead I felt empty and helpless, crying often. The last thing on my mind was blogging/creating/sharing anything with anyone. I wasn’t starving myself, although I was hungry most of the time. I had 3 small but balanced meals a day and snacked on an apple with a handful of almonds at 10 am and 3 pm. I drank at least 2 liters of mineral water daily.

On Sunday 8 November: I weighed exactly 6kg less than when I started the diet! Because of restless sleep, a mouth as dry as cardboard (my lip got embarrassingly stuck to my teeth while talking to a friend one day) and the heavy heart-feeling, I didn’t take the weight loss supplement on that particular weekend. I felt a slight ‘lifting’ of my spirits by the Sunday afternoon. Back to taking the capsules on Monday morning, but by that evening I was in tears again. I decided to take them every second day, because I felt that my appetite was under control. On Wednesday morning I reasoned myself out of taking it altogether. I still stuck to my 5 small but balanced meals a day, without getting cravings. On Friday the 13th Melanie, Ronel and I had a long chat before Olga, Belinda, Adele and the girls arrived. Mel picked up that my sense of humor had returned (compared to the previous humorless Craft Share) and someone mentioned that one of the ingredients in the weight loss capsules I’d been taking was suspect.

Where am I now? I have lost a staggering 7kg since Sunday 18 October. I’m not proud of the weight loss – more relieved that the worst is over. I’m not sure if the weight loss was worth all the emotional turmoil. Losing weight slower is better. If you want to lose weight drastically, discuss it with your GP first! Let it be under their supervision, so that your vitals can be monitored.

Most important lessons I have learned:

  • Weight loss should start with healthy eating habits.
  • Care enough about yourself to plan for healthy meals and snacks.
  • Never let yourself become so hungry that you would eat ‘anything’.
  • Comfort food can be wholesome.
  • There’s nothing wrong with a list of what you have/what you want, as long as your expectations are realistic.
  • I have to start exercising soon
  • Some of us only learn through experience …

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Reader Comments (1)

Ai Cornel, daai goed is gif.... DUUR gif....
Well done vir raaksien wat dit aan mens kan doen. Sterkte vorentoe.
Hoop jy kry oefen program wat vriendelik sal wees op jou voet...

November 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlna

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